Monday, May 31, 2010

Google "Funky Cold Medina" and "date rape."

and get your illustrious DA Paul Gallegos' latest get out the vote concert headliner: Tone Loc.



How fitting. Gangsta rap for a gangsta friendly DA - albeit one who is trying to pretend he is no friend to criminals.

Gallegos is either Tone Deaf or in your face, you decide.

I was told recently that this election is just more of the "culture wars" in Humboldt County - and that it comes down to whether you like your trees upright or prostrate, illustrated with hand motions.

It isn't.

To say that the "culture war" in Humboldt County is between those who like their trees upright or prostrate is such a grotesque and judgemental oversimplification it is infuriating.

But if in fact oversimplification is what we are going for - maybe we need to change the meme.

Because as far as I am concerned, this one is about those of us who like to see our 7 year olds thrive, not see them chained under the table and fed table scraps after being fucked in the ass by their abusive father.

This election is about protecting that 7 year old and putting that bad guy away, not dropping the case because you can't handle it that the little girl cries on the stand.

Unless and until people get that - I just don't know what to tell ya.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Speaking of "gangsta friendly," the two biggest Gallegos supporters turn out to be our two biggest Casinos.

E.R.

Kevin L. Hoover said...

"Sponsered?" Sher, why not?

Jennifer Savage said...

Couple things, regardless of anyone's feelings about the D.A. race...

First, Tone Loc is about as "gangsta" as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. He's a one-time rap pop star with an arguably more successful career as a voice actor.

Second, "Funky Cold Medina," while perhaps not the greatest lyrical acheivement of the modern age, is also definitely not about a date rape drug! Right off, the obvious difference is that with a date rape drug, the rapist slips it into someone else's drink, whereas in "Funky Cold Medina," Tone Loc is the one putting it in his own glass.

The story is more in the tradition of (the much better song) "Love Potion #9": We have a man who doesn't have any luck with the ladies, but then is provided with something mysterious to drink that'll supposedly make the ladies swoon, so he drinks it – only to find out it doesn't work like he'd hoped it would!

In the Clovers' song, our narrator ends up kissing a cop, who breaks his love potion.

In Tone Loc's song, he tries the "funky cold medina" on his dog, which causes all the other canines to come running, then he takes it and ends up taking a woman back home who turns out to be a man (gasp!), then finally he scores on Love Connection, but his date wants to talk marriage – the horror! So the joke is ultimately on him.

Again, not the most cleverest of songs. But definitely not a story of date rape either.

Terrence McNally said...

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

Jen - the song is most certainly about using chemicals to get laid. So is the Beastie Boys' Brass Monkey. Call it a date rape drug or love potion #9...

I'm about as interested in disecting Young MC's lyrics as Tone Loc is in the outcome of the Humboldt County Distric Attorney race.

Kevin L. Hoover said...

It sounds artfully ambiguous enough to be either sweet and innocuous Love Potion No. 9 or roofies, the local interpretation probably dependent on whether one supports this candidate or not.

Another ambiguity is whether Sheena knows what she's taking; whether it's more than the usual alcohol.

There appears to be considerable online debate as to what kind of aphrodisiac is implied – love potion or date rape drugs. Some people say one and others the other, each with equivalent certainty. But that's what's great about art – you can read it your way.

I'm sure we can all agree, though, that it's not advisable to ply women with drugs they don't know they're taking as a means of expediting hanky-panky!

Hank Sims said...

Next thing you know she'll be trying to explain away "Wild Thing" and the works of gangland capo Biz Markie.

Terrence McNally said...

I heard that Cheeba Cheeba song is about smoking... mayerwana. I doubt the Gallegos campaign would want to be associated with that kind of behavior, either.

Anonymous said...

Now this thread is fun. Thanks Kevin, Terrence, Hank and Rose. All I can say is someone on Gags' staff must have been smokin something really strong to think that it was a good idea for the DA who is being challenged for poor judgment and being incompetent to sponsOr this event. The rest of the state must think we are all nuts. I mean its almost too funny to believe.

Anonymous said...

"This election is about protecting that 7 year old and putting that bad guy away, not dropping the case because you can't handle it that the little girl cries on the stand."

Care to provide attribution, or is this wishful thinking?

Rose said...

What do you think it is about?

Anonymous said...

In other words, you have nothing to back up this charge. No 7 year old, no molester, no case.

Furthermore, your snide implication that this sort of abuse of children gets a pass from Gallegos, has no basis in fact.

Case closed.

Anonymous said...

Allison Jackson never believes in plea bargains. Betty Chinn told me that Allison Jackson said so. What? That is not reliable? OK, I guess your right.

Anonymous said...

Well, this issue just blew sky high. See HERALDO for details. Apparently, Jackson cooked up this child abuse story to cover her own incompetence in dealing with a child abuse case.

Anonymous said...

Tone Loc is gangsta rap? OMG you are out of touch.

Anonymous said...

tone loc gangsta rap ? hahaha to loosely quote monty pithon, i "laugh" in your general direction...you probably never even listened to his lyrics, or read his biography. i have a feeling your mildly racist tendencies would call any non white artist who talks/raps over a beat "gangsta rap" don't talk about what you dont know sweet heart, it just makes you look plain stupid....peace love joy, go paul!! for the people by the people....ckone, eureka cali.